We had a really scary day yesterday. I had noticed the night before that Jamie had a slightly blue colour around his lips after he'd fed - not his actual lips but the skin around them. The MW came to visit yesterday morning and she noticed it too (again, after a feed). She said it could be caused by wind, but it could also indicate a problem with his heart. She really scared the life out of me - said if it was her baby, she'd phone the GP and get him to do a home visit. I asked if he would be automatically registered with my doctor and she said yes he would.

So I phoned the doctors and got some stroppy b1tch on reception who told me that he was NOT registered with my GP, and "don't you know you have to get the birth registered before you can register with a doctor?". Well no, I didn't, and my MW told me the opposite!!! I was on the verge of tears at this point, I told her that he is only 8 days old, and could I please have a home visit. She then said could I ring back in the morning! I said no, I want a visit today. Anyway, she said she'd get the duty doctor to call me.

So my GP phoned and asked some questions about his general well-being, and then said could I bring him to the surgery at 3pm. I called my Wayne who was working about 45 mins away, and he left immediately and came home, and we went to the docs. He listened to Jamie's heart and said he's fine, has no heart murmur or anything, his breathing is fine and his chest is clear. He said he had a really good colour and looked to be perfectly healthy. He couldn't give any explanation about the blue colour, but said that as his lips and tongue are pink, and he has no trouble breathing, it isn't anything to worry about.

Phew! We were so relieved. We took him home and sat and cried! Otherwise we're doing ok, although I'm struggling a bit with feeding and have been using nipple shields to protect my poor sore nips! He's still waking a lot in the night and sometimes takes ages to get back to sleep. I've taken him out for a couple of walks in the pram on my own, and today I might brave a trip to tesco with him...just hope it isn't too busy!

Well we've had another busy day and I think all the activity is taking its toll on Jamie a bit - he's been quite grizzly today. He woke at 12, 2, 4 and 6 for feeds last night, so I'm worn out again today...although he did settle fairly well in between feeds with the dummy. I'm just hoping the frequent feeding is him trying to increase my milk supply and then maybe the feeds will space out a bit more. My aunt and uncle visited this morning, and then we had to wait in for the midwife, and she didn't arrive til 2.30pm. She did Jamie's heel prick test, which he didn't like one bit - she struggled to get enough blood out of him and had to prick him several times, poor little thing! She weighed him and he's started putting on weight again now after losing a bit at first. She isn't visiting again til Thurs so we must be doing ok.

Then we went to Wayne's mum's for tea and he met his great auntie. Since we've been home Jamie has been really unsettled and just wants to feed. Fingers crossed he's asleep now, but I'm gearing myself up for another broken nights' sleep!

Wayne is working tomorrow so I'll be all alone for the first time! I'm planning a really quiet day with hopefully no visitors, and maybe just a little stroll out in the pram in the afternoon.

James is just fabulous. I can't stop looking at him, can't believe he's mine and am so in love already.

Last night I got really emotional and was bawling my eyes out to Wayne, saying that part of me wishes he would stay a newborn forever, because he's so perfect. I'm really conscious of never having this time with him back again because I'm sure he's going to change so quickly.

We managed to get breastfeeding going soon after he was born and I'm persevering with it. The main problem we've had is that James seems to be a really "sucky" baby - he's taken to wanting to feed ALL the time, and we think he's doing it for comfort a lot of the time. When he's finished he'll settle for a few minutes and then start sucking his hands, before starting to cry, and the only thing that seems to stop him is going back on the boob, even though I don't think he can be hungry. Last night he was feeding from midnight til about 3am, so I'm shattered today.

So...this afternoon we have tried him with a dummy. I got a couple just in case, although like a lot of people I wasn't sure if I wanted to use them. But it seems to have worked - he sucked it til he fell asleep and then it fell out of his mouth, and he's still sleeping now. I'm hoping this will help him settle at night in between feeds.

We've had lots of visitors - Wayne's mum, his brother and sister in law, my gran and aunt and uncle have all been over. Here's a pic of Jamie with his Great-Granny:



We've had a few outings, which have been really nerve-wracking! We walked into town with him in the pram yesterday, and today we ventured into Tesco. Big mistake - bank holiday weekend = mega busy supermarket!! The queues at the till were unbelieveable! James started crying so in the end I had to leave Wayne queueing and took him out to the car. It was all a bit fraught but at least I found out which trolley to use with the car seat! I'm trying to get all these new experiences in with Wayne while I can, because he's back at work on Tuesday and I'll be flying solo!

Jamie was an angel throughout that first night - he just slept until about 7am, but I got very little sleep on the ward because of all the other babies crying! Wayne arrived at 9am and we were given a bath demo.


We had to wait around for a paediatrician to check Jamie over, and then we were discharged at 2pm. It was very exciting to be driving home with Jamie in his carseat in the back!

My mum came over to meet her grandson and was over the moon with him. Then we settled in for our first night as a family of three.

Jamie's Birthday!

The monitoring showed that baby’s heart rate was fine and my contractions were still coming roughly every 5 minutes. I continued with my TENS machine all through the night. By 6am I was exhausted, had had no sleep, and my contractions were still only every 5 minutes. I asked the MW whether she was going to do an internal, and she said no, because she didn’t think I was very far along. I think that was one of the lowest points for me – I really thought things would progress quickly as the contractions seemed to me to be quite close together. But she said they needed to be a lot stronger and closer together. She suggested I have a bath, which I did, and after I got out I panicked a bit as I had no pain relief anymore, and the contractions were becoming quite hard to deal with.

The MWs changed shifts at 8am and the new one agreed to examine me at about 9. When she did I had got to 5cm. Again, I thought things would progress quickly from that point. Throughout the rest of the morning and early afternoon I coped with the contractions ok using the gas and air, tried different positions when I could, but had to be monitored continually as they still wanted to keep an eye on the baby’s heart rate.

At about 4pm, a doctor came in to discuss my trace, examined me to find I was still only 6cm dilated, and said I needed to have my contractions speeded up as I wasn’t progressing fast enough. I felt a bit scared when she said they were going to put me on a syntocinon drip, and thought about asking for an epidural because by this point I was really tired and was scared that the drip would make the contractions unbearable. The MW kept saying that I would be fine and would manage, so in the end I stuck with the gas and air.

Another MW came to put the cannula in but she couldn’t get it into one hand and there was blood spurting everywhere, and she was asking me to stay still while I tried to get through the contractions. She then managed to put it into my other hand. Almost straight away the contractions got MUCH worse and closer together, and I started to really struggle to cope with them...it was agony! This went on for some time, I sort of lost track at that point.

At about 7pm I was examined again and was now 8-9 cm dilated but there was a lip on my cervix which was swelling up...the pain was now becoming unbearable. At this point I started begging for an epidural, pleading with them to do something and saying I couldn’t do it anymore. The MW kept saying “everyone says that when they’re about to have their baby!”, but I just knew I couldn’t cope any longer and in between contractions I told Wayne that I needed to have an epidural. Another MW came in (a more senior one I think), and I heard her telling the other MW that I should have been given an epidural when they started me on the syntocinon drip. I was still begging and pleading, and they said they were going to call the anaesthetist to come and do the epidural. I remember asking over and over where she was and how long it would be. When she arrived she was calmly trying to explain all the risks and stuff and I was saying I didn’t care about that, could she just do it.

So they got me in position for the epidural, curled up and leaning over a pillow. I thought I would only have to survive one contraction in that position, but the MW and anaesthetist then couldn’t find the right needle kit and had to go off down the corridor looking for one. Wayne was not impressed and I was begging them to hurry up. Anyway, the epidural was eventually done and it was fantastic! I wasn’t totally pain free because I was pretty close to delivering, so I could feel each contraction but it was totally bearable again.

The MWs changed shifts again and I had the one who had admitted me the previous night. She got us all a cup of tea and some biscuits, and then we sat and watched “The Apprentice” while we waited for me to be fully dilated. It sounds a bit weird but that’s a memory I’ll always treasure. I was virtually pain-free and knew I was getting close to delivering, and I felt really calm and in control again. At 10pm the MW said I was ready to push. I pushed with everything I had and she said almost straight away that she could see the baby’s head starting to crown. Wayne had positioned himself down at the business end and was having a good look! With each contraction the baby was moving further down and the MW got me to reach down and feel his head. She said that with the next contraction I would have my baby, so I pushed as hard as I could and at 10.31pm, James Thomas shot out into the world, covered in bright yellowy green poo and screaming his head off!

He was taken to be checked and then given straight to me, and it was just the most amazing feeling. I’d been worried that he’d need resus because of the amount of time since my waters had broken, but he scored 9 on the Apgar test at 1 minute. We had a couple of hours of skin to skin time and the MW helped me to start breastfeeding, and then Wayne went home and James and I were taken down to the postnatal ward.

On Tues 20th May I had an appointment with the midwife at midday, and she did a stretch and sweep. She said my cervix was nice and soft and I was 1cm dilated. Went home and almost straight away began getting the regular back pains again, only this time they were more frequent, coming every 5 minutes, and were gradually getting stronger. I sat on my birth ball and breathed through them for a while, and then had a bath at about 7pm. The contractions continued through the bath so I knew by then that it was for real. Put on my TENS machine at 8pm and phoned the delivery ward to let them know I was in labour. They said a midwife would phone me in a while. I started timing the contractions on contraction master – they were coming every 5 minutes and lasting around 45 seconds – so I thought I must be quite far along already…little did I know!

The midwife called at 9pm and said she would come to our house at about 10-10.30pm. Just before she arrived, my waters broke and I noticed they were tinged green. Uh-oh. I told the MW when she arrived and she said that I would need to go to hospital to be monitored as the green waters meant baby had passed meconium and could be distressed. She then left and we ran around packing all the stuff I’d need but hadn’t got round to packing into my hospital bag, and then drove the 10 minutes to the hospital. We got there just before midnight and I was put straight into a delivery room to be monitored.

41 weeks pregnant and still waiting...

I had planned a home water birth, so had bought a “birth pool in a box”, and in the run up to my due date we got the kitchen all set up to be my birthing room. The midwife had delivered the home birth pack, so we were all ready to go.

My due date, Mon 12th May, had been and gone with no sign of anything happening. We tried all the usual things, clary sage baths, a hot curry, long walks, etc etc, but another week passed with nothing happening, and I was starting to get really fed up with waiting.

On Mon 19th May I started getting some regular pains in my back, which were painful enough for me to need to breathe through them, sitting on my birth ball. I went to bed that night thinking things were going to happen in the night…but nothing did! In fact, I had the best nights’ sleep I’d had in ages, only woke up once – just as well as I wasn’t going to get much sleep for the next couple of days!